What would I like to see from you? More positive assertions. You are a positive and gentle person who loves his wife and daughters.
Good morning, my friend. On this Easter day, many of us will be reflecting on what we view as God’s righteous plan of love for us. Others, like my wife and I, may experience mixed feelings of joy and sadness at the loss of this belief. The loss of comfort and hope and once anchored our lives. Are there powerful notions of hope and love that have made it through the fire of doubt about the Bible? Yes!
For me, the answer is my wife and children. You. Our friendships with the active community of readers on this blog – some of whom have since become sincere friends in person. Today, my thoughts are on my bride, CC – the one I call J. I’m honestly tormented by how my doubts have affected and will impact my family, yet I can’t imagine going through them alone. I can’t put into words how deeply my failure to fulfill my vow to be J’s spiritual leader has hurt me (I did not and do not take that vow lightly), but I must briefly tell our readers more about her and the impact she’s had on me.
So thoroughly does she have my heart that I truly believe it is unconditional. I know here so deeply, what she hopes for, feels, who she is and who she wants to be, that as I consider her and how my actions might affect her, the lines between us blur. As we’ve walked through doubt together, the struggle has carved us together into something strong, fused together by these graphene rods of mutual support where we’ve push against each other so long.
J is as righteous, intelligent, beautiful and driven today as I’ve ever seen her, despite our attached roving anchors that each struggle for purchase. She’s a medical student, a mother of two sweet girls, a brilliant writer with a quick wit and intellect, a deeply compassionate person with a hilarious sense of humor and the brightest and warmest smile I’ve ever seen. Everything about her style and her physical appearance is mesmerizing to me. I can stare at her face for hours while swimming in the warm fuzzies. She lights up the room and I can see how her arrival and warm welcome causes our children’s hearts to soar. She’s simply enchanting. She loves our sweet daughters and she makes me proud of her character and choices on a daily basis. She makes me better in so many ways, and her spirit forces me to consider and love others more deeply. As we head off to church to celebrate Easter from our perch of heavy skepticism, I can only hope that there is a God that cares for all of us as deeply as I care for J. I absolutely love her.
Go hug your spouse or closest human and tell them your heart. Whether you’re a Christ-follow or not, let it be that “love is risen” today.
Gentleness and respect,
P.S. I can’t share a picture of J due to a potential loss of anonymity, but here’s our youngest. You can extrapolate from there because she looks just like J, but shorter and fatter. 🙂