As I mentioned in the comment on your post, I cried when I read, watched and listened to it. Why? I suppose that my wife will tell you that she’s the pragmatic one and I’m the emotional one. I cry in chick flicks more often than she does. We make a good pair. I’ve got your post open in another window and I’m reading it for the sixth time. I’ve listened to the pentatonix song a dozen times. Which one? Both – – but 5:1 in a ratio favoring Say Something. The song moved me the first time I heard it and four part harmony with perfect pitch did something further. Bland neurochemistry and dopamine in the amygdala is one possibilty. Harmony reaching my spirit, if there is such a thing, is another.
I didn’t just join your heart in the song – – its a song that I’ve sung myself many times in all four parts of harmony – – especially the ones that I can’t sing in full voice.
I’m both sorry and thankful that you are suffering with this. Sorry because I know how much it hurts and you are my friend. Thankful because I wouldn’t trade my suffering and sense of abandonment for anything now and if I had to go through it again – – I would. I’m only speaking with the benefit of retrospect and the courage that comes from survival. Prospectively, I was less brave than you.
The something that God spoke to me looked very little like the few times the prophets of old heard an audible voice. It wasn’t even like disciples at the feet of the Master. I’ve only met two people in my life that gave me a hint of what Jesus must have been like. No. It was like disciples talking to each other – – Peter arguing with Paul. Andrew debating with James. John wondering why his brothers were released with violent death and he survived till the natural curtain closed. The something was spoken by words, actions, and presence of loving believers over days, months, years, even decades.
When you and I speak and share life – – that is something. If you’re waiting for a miracle beyond the capacity to overcome your evolution, I’m not sure you’ll find it. But I’ll stay. I believe that your wife will stay, just as your mother did. Your belief or lack thereof is not a criteria for my fraternal affection – – and it never will be. Of course I want you to return. If I really believe what I say, how could I ever desire otherwise? And its not out of fear for your eternal soul – – I am honestly perplexed by how God will judge the souls of men. I do know that he told me to not even try.
We have a loyalty and duty to each other. We have a calling to each other. There is a way forward – – a detente if you will. But please realize – – something may not be said by a voice from the sky or a blinding light on the road to Damascus. It may be simply the patience and care of a brother who will love you no matter what and always trust God with your soul.
*image courtesy wikimedia commons CC 3.0